No matter the measures we take to prepare ourselves for the loss of our loved ones, nothing will keep us from feeling the pain in our hearts when it happens. Their absence reminds us of how much we need them in our lives. Not a day goes by that I don't find myself wishing to be able to lift the phone to my ear and hear my grandmother's sweet voice or wish I could still hold my son and rub my face in his crazy thick hair! This ritual helps to bring me comfort in times when it is hardest to bare.
A RITUAL FOR COMFORT
Cast a circle. Light a candle of your favorite color to represent you (I use brightest pink). Next to it, place a candle of a color that reminds you of your friend (for my grandmother I use yellow because she loved yellow rose), but, do not light it. Place a circle of 5 candles around these two on your altar.
Say, "I light this candle to represent the circle of life and death." Pink.
Say, "This candle represents love. I ask with this candle for the gift of love." The next candle should be blue. Light it, saying, "This candle represents peace. May I have peace in my heart." The next candle should be white. Light it as you say, "This candle represents protection, so that I may get through these hard times." Light a purple candle and place it in the last spot, "This candle represents the power of the spirit." Outside the inner circle of candles, place memorabilia of the lost one, or the one you are about to loose to sickness or illness. This can be pictures, or any item that reminds you of them. Hold the unlit candle representing the loved one and spend some quiet time re-living the memories, and cherishing the fond memories you have of them. When finished, light the candle and put it back in the holder. Visualize your loved one standing next to you. Watch them as they leave your side and travels off to a another place. As they leave your side, they should pass through a big white door. After the visualization has faded, hold a black candle. Pour all your negative emotions into this candle. You are allowed to cry. Breathe all you have into the candle and when finished, light it and place it somewhere outside the colorful circle of candles. Address the lord and lady. Ask them for guidance. Ask the lady to hold you as a mother. Rock back and forth with her once she is holding you in her embrace. Feel the mother's warmth. Once you have reached a feeling of release, extinguish all candles (unless you are only planning on doing this ritual once, then let the candles burn out completely). Take the black candle outside immediately and either bury it beside a tree, or throw it into a large body of water. Ask the spirit of (earth/water) to purify it, and to give you strength to deal with your situation. Close the circle.