I'm going to try to discuss this while keeping my PG status for my younger readers.
In Witchcraft we have certain rituals that involve sex, or more specifically the Great Rite which is a major ritual, to obtain enlightened states within our own minds. Sex magic is used to increase the connection between a couple and to encourage connective energies to bond. Sex magic is something that should be mutually agreed upon by both members of the party and it should be done by two individuals who are already in a relationship together. For anyone to use it without the consent of the other involved, or even against the will of the other, it won't work. Bad things can happen with the misuse of magic. As with any magic it can be used for good or bad, but you get back what you send out, so it's best not to abuse magic. Sex magic can be used to obtain fertility in other areas of life, including finances, crops, and family.
The Great Rite is a higher form of sex magic. During most rituals when the Athame is inserted into the Chalice it is symbolic of the Great Rite. The Athame is phallic and the Chalice is feminine. The Great Rite is a ritual to harness the power that is created when the Goddess and the God join together. The energies of the two join together and become one stronger energy.This is why the two preforming the rite should already be joined in a relationship. Love is a strong power and the bond of two people joined together by their love for each other is one of the highest forms of magic. For lovers there is more than just a physical connection. When they join their bodies together as one a greater bond is formed between them and the emotions and powers the form from this union create a higher force to be used in strong magic.
Sex magic, therefore, should not be taken lightly. If you don't feel a strong emotional bond with the individual you can't form the energies needed to preform the ritual correctly! Love leads to the bonding of two spirits during the ritual. Sex is the beginning of all life and takes energies back to their highest purest forms. The creation of life is the highest of all magic. When you are preforming the Great Rite it is best to keep that in mind. Sex magic should only be done when the couple has no problems with creating life. The Great Rite can not be done with a condom. When the Goddess and God joined to create life they went at it with no worries of birth control! The couple must have great respect for this fact and each other.
The Great Rite isn't just about the sex involved. Many couples can be together for years before trying to preform this act. It should be done in private and not rushed or inhibited in anyway. The couple should take time with each other, caressing and kissing. Getting to know each others bodies and building the desire to join together. When the two join together as one the passion should be at it's highest level. When orgasm is reached it should be done so while joined together as one. The rite does not end just because that has happened. The couple should remain joined together and continue to focus on each other and allow the energy to calm down slowly. The Great Rite is a ritual to discover the inner divinity of each other. You can't look and see this so, taking all that time to focus on being one is a way to find that.
Sexual desire is a primal instinct. It goes back to the earliest forms of human life. Most living things copulate to create new life. It is pleasurable and there are many animals other than humans who find pleasure in sex for pleasure. As higher intelligence prevailed and people became ashamed of their own nudity we learned to repress those desires. We are taught at an early age that touching ourselves is wrong, when in fact medical science has shown that a healthy sexual desire is a normal part of being healthy both physically and mentally. This includes masturbation. If you don't know your body how can you tell your partner what you like to feel? I think this sexual repression leads to unhealthy sexual desires and practices. When a couple are comfortable with each other and are comfortable with their own bodies a healthy sex life keeps their relationship strong.
Any couple deciding to preform sex magic should understand that to do so could result in a child. The blessing of fertility is a gift from the Goddess and the God. It is to seek these blessings that you would preform the rituals, so if you have no desire for a child this ritual should not be preformed. Nothing should be used to create a barrier between the egg and sperm. These are the elements of the Goddess and God and to join their energies they should be allowed to join. For this reason sex magic should not be taken lightly and misused. If your relationship is not sound and it is not the desire of both parties to create another life it should not be preformed. For couples desiring a child, timing the use of the ritual to coincide with the woman's ovulation is a great idea as it is asking the Goddess and God to bless you with a child. A child conceived during the Great Rite is a child of the Goddess and God and it will live a blessed life indeed!
Blessed be,
Lady Alice
PS I was asked about my stance on homosexuality, by my anonymous friend up north! My stance on anything sexual is a focus on love! If the individuals are consenting adults and are in love and it hurts no one else then love is love! Everyone is entitled to love who they want to love! That being said the Goddess is female and the God is male and life can not exist without a little help from both. That is not saying two men or two women can not raise a child just as good as a man and a woman can. But in order for those individuals to raise that child they will need the "blessings" of either a goddess or a god in some means (modern technology is wonderful) to create it! The only focus on this all is love, if two individuals are in love and they love their children then that is all that matters. LOVE!